What a summer this is turning into.
 
Lets see, like I said its easy to give in to emotional tears and fears and sit for hours and dwell on what if and could be's.  Its tough to put it all down and get on with it all and enjoy yourself. Not saying I am tough. More like would rather not sit and be a mess all the time.
 
with the news of my son going to Iraq for 6 months to a year  and doing the crying bit it was high time to get on with it all. After all there is very little i can do about this whole thing but be positive for him and he sure as heck wouldnt want me spending my time wasting away feeling sorry for myself or sitting day after day in tears. that is no sort of life for anyone.
I figure it this way, to support him in a positive manner while he is there i have to be able to talk about good things and not my feeling sorry for myself all the time.Or any anger I may feel about anything going on.  I figure if i just get on with life and do alot of things then i will have something to share with him when i send him those letters each week. weather or not i am enjoying myself is not the point. But If I am not doing something positive that i can talk about then i have nothing to say to him. right?
So having said that. I got up and stopped crying and got busy. Yes at first it was tough it was more of going through the motions.There was no joy in any of it  at first. But i got busy anyway.
I figured out that my 11 yr old grand daughter not only is a natural at baking but loves to bake. Her 6 yr old sister loves to help out too. So i spent 4 days not only helping her get a good start on it all baking bread and cookies locating cook books and supplies but cleaning the kitchen as she went and relocating all things baking into one area for her so she wouldnt be underfoot when her grandpa is trying to cook.
I was totally amazed at what she was doing and the whole thing has brought me alot of smiles.
Her grandpa's birthday was just this past week and we ran out of alot of things for her baking but she pulled off a home made cake from scratch including the frosting. of course i helped her out but not alot. she did most of this on her own. the cake fell in the middle though but that was no huge loss her grandpa was totally thrilled that she even tried. so was I.
of course there is the scanning old family documents too . and the 6 yr old loves to run the scanner. so were about done with that. and then its on to scanning old family pictures.
Do you see what I am saying? If i had sat and given into the tears totally and let those control my every waking moment I would have nothing to share with my son when I write to him each week. Not that I dont have my moments. and not to say the tears dont come they do i just refuse to let them dominate my days and nights and stay for to long.
And so it is this summer is turning into something else. :) a summer i will not forget for along time.
between the hiking, the beach combing, picnics out, family celebrations , fishing and alot of projects going on the heat of this summer which has been record breaking and the forrest fires bringing all their smoke its been very interesting.